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Carmencita – Devendra Banhart

Structured Procrastination… me habría gustado que esta clase estuviera en mi plan de estudios.

dance with your fingers

no faltaremos al próximo festival de la torta

algo más serio… la evolución

Y no por demostrar mi rebeldía o mi obstinación a las reglas (si acaso eso existe en mí). Sino por que realmente prefiero saber lo que soy y lo que no soy, lo que tengo y lo que no tengo pero más aún (y sobre todo) lo que me gusta y lo que no me gusta. Cuál era el punto de estar en un paraíso donde lo que te gusta no lo decidiste, las opciones no difieren, todo es bueno y por lo tanto debe gustarte (qué chiste tiene comer solo frutas y verduras, cuando puedes comer carne y pasarla con una cerveza). Me levanto y aplaudo, si señor, aplaudo por la diferencia y los contrastes, por Eva y por su resolución a probar algo distinto a lo que le ofrecía el paraíso de dios, por su espíritu de experimentación y escepticismo. Adoro pues, esa última capacidad. Dudar de lo existente y juzgarlo, criticarlo y desmenuzarlo y no creernos todo y mirar y mirar y buscar razones que (aunque puedan ser despedazadas y creadas de nuevo) nos permiten evolucionar pensamientos que generan otros. Y estos a su vez generan más y complementan otros. Adoro que no somos ingenuos y que no basamos nuestra imaginación en estatutos dictados por “un ser superior”. Qué sería de lo que llamamos cultura, ciencia y conocimiento sin ese escepticismo y esa diferencia.

Estimado lector, no se preocupe. No me he convertido en profeta del Monstruo Volador de Espagueti. Simplemente sentí el deseo de escribir algo en contra de todos esos evangelizadores que se atreven a plantear sus ideas como el objeto de verdad, que se pretenden superiores y minimizan lo distinto a ellos (aunque mi imaginación no alcanzó más que para esto). Me enfurece ese sentido de superioridad guanabi de algunas personas y sin embargo, los respeto. Por eso, hoy comeré la manzana que me expulse de sus paraísos y ellos… que coman caca.

Eran 25 los obreros de Luz y Fuerza que trabajaban esa noche en la esquina de Bolívar y 16 de Septiembre. 25 los obreros a los que les mentaron la madre. 25 las veces que les recordaron lo putos que podían ser. La puta madre, dijo el Peruano ¿ora a dónde vamos? Valentino, que pocas veces pierde la paciencia (mentar madres en realidad demostraba cuán paciente y sombrío era) comentó, sin quitar el cigarro de la boca, vamos con el Rub. Sin pensarlo dos veces, el Peruano subió el volumen al estéreo (no todo porque “se vuelan las bocinas”) y enfiló el automóvil en dirección norte sobre el Eje Central. El viernes no había siquiera comenzado. Los últimos minutos del jueves anunciaban una fantasmagórica peda y el Rub aún no lo sabía.

Con los acordes de “Fireworks” (Animal Collective [el Peruano muy mamón con eso de los nombres de las canciones y las bandas]) dieron vuelta en una calle antes de llegar a Garibaldi. El Viena los esperaba. Dejaron el automóvil en el estacionamiento del lado derecho. Bajaron. Valentino dió una importante propina. Queremos la mejor mesa. Todas eran de metal y las sillas decían “Corona” pero ellos querían la mejor. Siempre “la mejor”. Sentados y ya con una cubeta de chelas pidieron que el Rub se acercara. Con sus 185 centímetros de estatura, su barriga chelera y su piel morena, llegó. Les dió un beso en la mejilla y les recordó lo putos que podían ser. Interesante, la segunda vez del día dijo Valentino. De hecho la primera del viernes. Tomaron otras dos cubetas. Hartos de escuchar a Martha Sánchez y a Mónica Naranjo, se dijeron a la chingada, ya estuvo bueno de jotear hoy. Le pidieron al Rub salir lo más pronto de ahí. Hay una fiesta murmuraron.

Pon música de fiesta, no tus mamadas. Encabronado por los comentarios insulsos del Rub, el Peruano interrumpió la bonita melodía de “Fleshy Jefrey” (Joan of Arc). Cambió el disco y comenzó “It’s not over yet” (Klaxons). Me carga la chingada. ¿No puedes poner algo más chingón? algo para bailar. ¿Prefieres a los Black Eyed Penes o algo así? Sólo si tu me guías. Valentino, con un acto en realidad lleno de gracia, puso algo bastante más movido: Fatboy Slim. Envueltos en la melodía, los tres bailaban. Envueltos en el alcohol, los tres soñaban. Cambiaban el pointer negro por un Mustang blanco con líneas azules (como en la de 60 segundos gritó alucinante el Rub), sus playeras negras se convertían en impecables sacos, camisas y corbatas negras; y su actitud alcohólica se convertía en una evangelización dispuesta a limpiar a las almas perdidas de la siguiente fiesta. En especial las de las mujeres.

Llegaron sin muchos problemas. Aclaro el “muchos”. No los detuvieron, no les rompieron la madre y afortunadamente supieron el camino. Lo demás (la banqueta a la que se subieron, el espejo que quebraron, las mentadas alrededor y el hedor que por alguna razón salía del automóvil) en realidad no importa. La muy practicada entrada de galanes de balneario se hizo a la perfección. Azotando la puerta, cigarro en boca, actitud redentora, mirada fugaz. O al menos así lo recuerdan. Muy diferente pudo haber sido. Pero eso tampoco importa. La gente era extraña. La fiesta era de alguien conocido. La música apestaba (según la experta crítica del Peruano). Lo importante es que traían una rica botella de Whisky, una coca y un agua mineral, de dos litros, ambas. Ellos, en efecto, lo tomaban campechano para disgusto de muchos.

Las tres de la mañana. El momento que lo cambió todo. Las cosas importantes pasan a las 3. No decimos una, dos, tres en vano. Es el anuncio de la importancia. Para ese momento el Rub y el Peruano ya eran dueños de la pista de baile. “It’s 5” (Architecture in Helsinki) era la única canción por la que compartían un amplio, amplísimo gusto y ésa era una melodía digna de baile y regocijo. Valentino se limitó a mirarlos de lejos. La timidez y el disgusto por bailar lo dejaron fuera. Pero qué bueno que así fue (pensó al día siguiente). De lo contrario no habría notado a la Importada. Y no notar su presencia habría sido el mayor pecado y la mayor estupidez que se le podría permitir a algún hombre, independientemente de su sexualidad, raza, carisma, posición, marca de zapatos o religión. En cualquier religión habría sido pecado no notarla. Ojos ligeramente rasgados (por eso el sobrenombre), negros. Cabello del mismo color y largo, de movimientos en secuencia perfecta con la música, hombros de delicia, de esos preparados para los besos matutinos, para los besos de reconocimiento. El vestido azul (Valentino tenía una marcada preferencia por las mujeres que usaban vestido y para esta época eran muy difíciles de encontrar, las mujeres, que no los vestidos) en sincronía con el cuerpo, con las piernas sobre todo. Las pecas en la cara se le miraban tiernas y cuando sonreía se le miraban lujuriosas. Valentino comenzó a sonreír estúpidamente, contagiado por su cerebro que, como pocas veces, había dejado de lado todas las funciones para sólo enfocarse en guardar el recuerdo, respirar y sonreír estúpidamente.

Se acercó con descansada formalidad, pensando o al menos intentándolo… La peda en vez de bajar, aumentó. Corrió al baño (o lo que escondía el vómito, los orines y el papel regado por el piso) y se lavó la cara. ¿De qué se habla con una mujer así? ¿la invito al cine, será muy pinche común eso, al teatro, a un concierto, a cenar… al cine? Con semejantes (e inteligentes) pensamientos, Valentino se sintió de lo más inseguro. Jamás permitiría que alguien lo mirara con esa debilidad, esa vulnerabilidad. Mirándose fijamente al espejo se dijo a sí mismo: Sabes qué es lo peor que puede pasar (el subconsciente no dejó de chingar y pidió que dejara de hablar como su papá, no era momento para andar con mamadas). Por alguna casualidad (casi de cuento), los acordes de “Fireworks” comenzaron. No era su favorita, pero recordaba haberla escuchado. Seguramente el Peruano ya también se había adueñado de la tornamesa… y del DJ. Por alguna extraña razón se sintió protegido bajo esa canción. La Importada, sola, parecía estarlo esperando. La mitad del cerebro que funcionaba, alcanzó a decir: Hoy estrenan Duro de Matar 4. Ella sólo respondió: Yipi-ka-yey moder foquer.

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